Enigma

India. A country with a population of more than 1.3 billion people, of which 43% are women. Recent stories that have saturated the news involving gang rapes and sexual assault have alarmed communities worldwide. Official statistics highlight that one rape is reported every 20 minutes. The National Crime Records Bureau state that rape crimes in India has increased tenfold in the last 40 years. 40,000 rape cases were reported in 2016 alone. 

Zainab Ansari is the name of a 7 year old Pakistani girl who lived in the Kasur district of Punjab. As she was on her way to Quran recital classes she was abducted, raped and brutally murdered. Once the killer was done with her, her body was disposed of amongst a rubbish heap next to a garbage can.



In the last six months, seven other girls have been sexually assaulted in the Punjab region. An investigation is now underway to see if they are all connected.

I feel disheartened at how Pakistan has failed their children. A country where I too have family, and little cousins the same age as Zainab. A country rife with corruption, where parties are too busy hurling accusations at each other in order to get ahead in the political race.

Zainab's parents were performing Umrah (a religious pilgrimage) whilst this happened to her. She was living with her aunt, and thought she was safe walking a short minute to her religious classes. Which she should have been.

The ONLY person to be blamed for this, is the vile creature who committed the crime. No one else. It is a sorry state of affairs when women still find a way to blame anyone else other than the rapist. Which is what I found in some of the comments section when reports were released about Zainab. My heart breaks for her family, and for every other vulnerable child out there who was taken advantage of.

S.K.

This is an unfortunate but very real truth for young women in the South Asian community of today. Asian societal pressures for young girls to succumb to marriages, children and making a home like the elders that came before them. I presume for most of us we have unknowingly had the idea of marriage implanted within us from a young age.

Yet, generations before us forget that they were not urged to pursue an education (for most, or rather if they were then it was not with great importance) or encouraged to establish themselves with a suitable career. In our chase for lucrative positions we are expected to get there smooth sailing, be steady on our two feet and then? Then we are to get married and live happily ever after of course.

There will be falls, hinderances and mistakes in order to prepare us. To find ourselves. It is ok to become lost or take a few wrong turns on your path to get to where you want to be. Self-love also needs to be nurtured. It is perfectly fine to take your time, and focus on you and you alone without having to justify why you are still single.

Photo credit, Instagram: @thepakistanimarthastewart

We are young women who are hungry for all the opportunities that arise, eager to grab and utilise the choices available throughout our lives. We should be allowed to do so. However at the same time, who also feels the impending anxiety our mothers are on the brink of when Aunty Ji from some distantly related family asks when you're getting married?

Respect. Honour. Family values. "What will others think?" Then theres the comments on age. When you hit the quarter of a century mark, you will be inundated with questions on why you haven't married or settled for anyone yet. Who else had their whole life planned by the time they were 25? Yet here we are, still making tough life decisions like what new Netflix show we should binge watch. (Peaky Blinders, for anyone who hasn't yet)

It seems as you get older, everyone starts getting caught up in this cycle of marriage prospects and stressing about time going by. Do not tire yourself out trying to perfect a round roti (chapatti) or making exceptional desi chai (tea) fit for the Queen. Humour aside, we need to learn that our main goal in life is not to get married. Marriage, contrary to the typical and ever so popular belief does not define us. Yes it can be difficult to tame that silent yet ferociously loud fear in your mind, but remember that everyone is on their own journey. Everything will only fall into place when the time is right.

These expectations can lead to be very testing on young women's mindsets. Severe anxiety over not being settled and married with kids by a certain age is not healthy. Let us not cast young girls aside who are only just stepping into the real world by labelling them as failures, arrogant, selfish, and disrespectful for not saying yes to a rishta (potential husband) via a picture.

Is no one tired of the stories we hear, from various scenarios of rushed marriages due to the parents pressure, for the individual to then endure years of being unhappy or for it ending in quick divorce? Are parents not willing to save that anguish for their children and wait until they are truly happy? I have yet to come across anyone who finds "settling for someone" truly appealing.

It constantly surrounds us too, the idea of finding "the one" even if it's not our family or the next door Aunty. Social media, where someone is updating an engagement status every other day. The Bollywood industry, who love to rinse the idea of exaggerated love stories film after film. Then we have Hollywood - the biggest illusion of them all. The literary world thrives upon stories dedicated to falling in love and finding your soulmate.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being married, having kids and taking care of your home. Equally, there is nothing wrong with not being married, not having kids and not being settled.

S.K.